If we do not consciously cultivate access to our wholeness, we will be living in our fragments. Our fragments are our default setting. Our fragments feel like home because they have been with us since childhood.
Rewilding Cultivating Wholeness Using Parts Therapy
"We must reclaim and embody our original wholeness, our indigenous human nature granted to us by nature itself....When we eliminate symptoms without cultivating wholeness, we still have an unwell, unwhole, or fragmented psyche that will soon enough sprout new symptoms that express, in yet another way, the lack of wholeness. " Bill Plotkin
In order to heal ourselves at a deep level, we must be able to access our wholeness. Our wholeness is the part of us, our true self, that is untouched by our trauma, isn't reactive, is calm, curious, compassionate, connected, courageous and clear and open-hearted. By strengthening access to the resources of our whole self, we can heal our fragments. The 4 aspects of our wholeness that we need to strengthen our access to are our Nurturing Generative Adult, our Wild Indigenous One, Our Innocent/Sage, and our Muse-Beloved.
What most of us consider our personality is actually not our personality, wholeness or our true self, but our fragmented self, our sub-personalities, who we split off and became in order to survive. Our fragments or sub-personalities are the wounded and sometimes unconscious parts of our human psyches. Bill Plotkin Ph.D has called them our inner victim, wounded child, enabler/codependent, rescuer, critic, tyrant, addict, rebel, conformist etc. Each of these ones has their own story, feelings, images and behaviors and often operates independently and without our knowledge.
"Our sub-personalities are the source or instigators of what Western psychology understands to be our psychological symptoms and illnesses." Bill Plotkin
What if it was possible to discover and live from your wholeness? What if you could also discover that your fragments, your sub-personalities, who you think you are, is not, in fact, who you are? What if there is more to you? What if, from your wholeness, you could heal and integrate your fragments? What if you could also discover what is RIGHT with you, instead of always focusing on what was wrong with you? I have been working with this kind of parts therapy for 10 years. I use this model in working with myself and my own healing/wholing work, and in working with my clients. Learning to discern who is speaking in us and what to do is one of the greatest skills we can learn. You will learn to work WITH your fragments, not FROM them. You will develop compassion and understanding for why you are the way you are, and what else might be possible for you. You will discover your survival story, who you had to become to survive (fragments) and how you can integrate and heal your survival story so that you can become who you actually are. Our survival story is just that, a story of survival. It is a story of protection and defense. It was not meant to be a life long strategy. Each of us comes to the place where our survival story is no longer working but we don't know what else to do. If that is you, take heart, there is more. YOU ARE NOT YOUR SURVIVAL STORY! The world needs you in your fullness, in your wholeness, living as the open-hearted human being that you actually are.
I use this model in all my sessions because I believe this to be key to our healing. Fragments do not heal fragments but being in our wholeness does. If you would like to know more about this way of working, feel free to email me or set up a free consultation to see if this is a fit for you. You can also read more in the book Wild Mind, by Bill Plotkin.
This way of working is also very effective as a nature-based practice. I take clients outside to do this work because nature will always provide a mirror for the very part of ourselves that we are wanting to work with. If the idea of doing this work outside appeals to you, schedule a re-wilding session. Nature will mirror both our wholeness and our fragmented selves and you will be amazed at what is possible when working in this way. Again, this is a way I have been deepening in my own healing and wholing for the last 10 years. I know it works.